My Theme Song

Every 18 minutes another teen dies from suicide. How do I know this? I was a lucky survivor. The song “Hold On” by Good Charlotte was released almost a year prior to my overdose attempt. People say that something as simple as a song cannot help with problems. Well, it can.

When I was lying in that hospital bed, “Hold On” came on the radio in the nurse’s station. It made me realize that I am not the only one who has problems. Suicide is not the answer. Everyone has problems. No one is alone in this world. No matter how lonely you are, there is someone there for you. Now I have come to see that life changes dramatically as you grow. When you are alone, days seem so long and there are many sleepless nights, but society won’t realize what you are going through unless you let them. You can get fed up with life and not want to go any further. If you stop looking, you’ll never know what’s out there waiting for you. I was lonely, in pain and just simply tired of all of the drama. Every step I took, I wished it could be the end. People were so cold and heartless. People didn’t even realize that I was there. Sometimes I thought I was dead already. I had to bleed just to know I was alive.

Now I am scarred for life with the memories of my bad experiences with razors and pills, which never should have happened. I now feel that I should have been stronger and held on to the good things. I just couldn’t bear the pain. Nobody understood what I was going through. When I got around people who committed the same act that I had, I knew then that I wasn’t alone.

Since that night lying in that hospital bed three months ago, I have not self-mutilated or attempted any type of self-induced pain because of that one song telling people like me to hold on. The lyrics so small have a meaning greater than any. The one line that mainly made me think was when it said that everyone bleeds the same way I do. For me that meant that I am not alone. And when it asked what am I looking for, I realized that my problem was that I had no goals, only negative thoughts. So the next time I feel sad or lonely, I will pop Good Charlotte into my stereo and get reminded that suicide is not the answer, and I am not alone.

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